@Donna_McCoy If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘donuts’. I’ll turn around and look.
@Donna_McCoy @Donna_McCoy If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘donuts’. I’ll turn around and look.
@Donna_McCoy [first date]
Him: *dips chip into salsa rather than scooping*
Me: *gets up and leaves*
(…comes back, grabs salsa bowl, leaves for real)
@Donna_McCoy The seance was ruined when everyone realized that the only spirit speaking through me was vodka.
@Donna_McCoy Growing up, my weather app was a window. Now I need two forecasts and a radar map just to decide how I should do my hair.
@Donna_McCoy Friend: I wish this candy bar had less calories.
Me: Let me see it…
*eats half and hands it back*
…wish granted.
@Donna_McCoy I have about 5 different personalities and not one of them can find my car keys.
@Donna_McCoy If you send me a work memo on the weekend I respond with Linkin Park lyrics.
@Donna_McCoy My favorite self defense technique is to not let someone draw me into a fight.
@Donna_McCoy Once again the nurse sighs and writes “patient refused to step on scale” into my medical chart.