@English_Channel

whoa.. whoa… whoa… we ain’t flying anywhere until you get some damn pants on

@English_Channel

painter: do you want to put down the burrito while I paint your portrait?

me: absolutely not

@English_Channel

no matter how many years they’ve been practicing, a bagpipe player always sounds like they started learning that day

@English_Channel

a ‘suggested’ serving size of chips seems to have been calculated by someone who has never eaten a chip