@English_Channel whoa.. whoa… whoa… we ain’t flying anywhere until you get some damn pants on
@English_Channel @English_Channel painter: do you want to put down the burrito while I paint your portrait?
me: absolutely not
@English_Channel Trevor eventually flunked out of dentistry school
@English_Channel This painting is titled ‘Mondays? Amirite?’
@English_Channel horse: hey, steve. how’s it going?
deer: hi, deborah. same crap, different day
@English_Channel no matter how many years they’ve been practicing, a bagpipe player always sounds like they started learning that day
@English_Channel when your spouse’s phone rings & they go to the other room to answer it
@English_Channel when you’re a gargoyle but also afraid of heights
@English_Channel a ‘suggested’ serving size of chips seems to have been calculated by someone who has never eaten a chip