Don’t let Hollywood fool you. I was in an orphanage for 13 yrs and we only broke into a song & choreographed dance twice
When the battle starts, but it’s also laundry day
a ‘suggested’ serving size of chips seems to have been calculated by someone who has never eaten a chip
art teacher: …and that’s how you paint a face
picasso: *running in* sorry, i’m late. what did i miss?
a rare painting of a porcu’melon
violence is never the answer unless you’re doing a crossword and it asks “behavior involving physical force” (8 letters)
manure salesmen ask ”do you want flies with that?”
what’s another way to say “codependent psycho”? I want this dating profile to be perfect
who knew parenting would entail saying “pick that up off the floor” followed by “and don’t put it in your mouth” so often
what if cobwebs were delicious?
– cotton candy inventor