the saddest jazz hands ever
how I passively talk to my kid
“customarily, the clothes go in the hamper”
this is your fault for setting him up with Medusa
get yer dragons here! get yer dragons… I have menthol and non-menthol, get yer dragons!!
the time my hedgehog fell into the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit
I think my husband is beginning to suspect
my roommate at 3:26 am: hey man, did you eat the last Pop-Tart?
The Purge: Valentine’s Day
sweetie, something about you tonight is driving me wild
War & Peace