@Hormonella

Add mushrooms to any salad for that farm fresh taste of dirt.

@Hormonella

God: Let’s give them the ability to feel remorse.

Satan: I like that. Say, from 2:00 – 4:00 AM?

@Hormonella

If you can’t be with the dog you love, pat the dog you’re with.

@Hormonella

So Mother Theresa puts a dish towel on her head and she’s a “saint” but when I put a dish towel on MY head I’m “drunk in the kitchen again?”

@Hormonella

“I love this song!”

“This is my favorite song!”

“I love this song!”

“No, THIS is my favorite song!”

~ Me, listening to my own playlist

@Hormonella

Chihuahua is my favorite pet that is also the sound I make during a bikini wax.

@Hormonella

And YOU get a vegetable pod!

And YOU get a vegetable pod!

And YOU get a vegetable pod!

And YOU get a vegetable pod!

~ The Okra Show

@Hormonella

Wish I could focus on anything with even half the intensity of my dog watching me eat yogurt.