*in court for murder*
I’m appreciate your feedback on not killing people. I’m listening, learning and growing.
Me: Well I don’t wanna blow my own trumpet…
Brass Band Conductor Who Is Auditioning Me: Please do.
She’s a 10, but you can’t date numerical values and anthropomorphising digits doesn’t lead to a stable relationship.
What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”
My tapeworm is demanding a series of expensive property repairs. Any landlords able to provide advice?
The evolutionary process has created crabs five independent times throughout the course of history. Humans are not the pinnacle of evolution. Evolution wants crabs.
I always took the phrase “God moves in mysterious ways” to mean that he walks like a crab.
How come Peter Parker can be a Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman, but I can’t be a Cantankerous Neighborhood Were-Donkey!?
Hear me out Pixar: 2 Rat 2 Touille
*performs sax solo*
*performs sex, solo*