If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can’t even finish this one
The sign at the zoo said “Please Don’t Touch The Animals” so I put away the book of poetry I was reading to them.
“Careful, there’s poop on the dance floor.” – how ballet was invented.
If I was a snake and I owned a ship I’d call it the S.S. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
“Stop pointing at my daughter!” – Kanye West yells at a compass.
Batman Begins Crossdressing #AddAWordRuinAMovie
“T.G.I.F!” – not Jesus, probably.
Tear gas is the saddest gas.
She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.
Still wondering if Rick Astley gives up anything for Lent.