Edgar Allan Poe Because Edgar Allan Got No Job
“Oh. My. God.” – the first duck to eat bread.
Searching for stuff on the internet when you’re drunk is called Beer Googles.
Never mess with a drunken pig.
If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can’t even finish this one
The sign at the zoo said “Please Don’t Touch The Animals” so I put away the book of poetry I was reading to them.
“Careful, there’s poop on the dance floor.” – how ballet was invented.
If I was a snake and I owned a ship I’d call it the S.S. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
“Stop pointing at my daughter!” – Kanye West yells at a compass.
Batman Begins Crossdressing #AddAWordRuinAMovie