I’ll go first…
Bad Boys. 😏
Welcome to your fifties…
AT 10PM WE SLEEP
AT DAWN WE PEE
Apparently telling the cop during my sobriety test, it’s not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up was not the best answer.
I tried to be mean once. Worst two minutes of my life.
Don’t make me out nice you.
I’m at my most ninja when the motion sensor sink don’t work.
I like my coffee so strong that it fails a drug test.
Who hurt you ?
Went to see my doctor today and apparently drinking mimosas are not considered a juice cleanse.
Some people are hope, some people are nope.
Gone in 60 Seconds is a documentary about me leaving work on Fridays.
Who would of thunk it folks, having a mask, rubber gloves, bleach and hand sanitizer is now acceptable to have in your vehicle.
20’s: AT DAWN WE RIDE !
40’s: AT NINE WE SLEEP !
Hear me out, a leaf blower, but for people.
At my age, you can spell Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen without googling it.