some people recharge in nature. some people recharge at the olive garden.
think of all the paper we are saving complaining online.
If you want to make someone happy, leave the room and come back in as an outdoor cedar soaking tub near a quiet cabin in Topanga.
i was skeptical about people paying money for my tweets but i just did the math and i could quite possibly make $5.98 a month.
my daughter told me she has a crush on a guy who plays a drug dealer on a show and i’m like oh you get that from me.
One time I overheard my coworker answer a question with ‘I don’t know, I was in Prague’ so that’s my go to now whenever I don’t have the answer to a question.
A guy in line just asked me to hold his coffee and I’m like I’m not looking for anything serious right now.
Him: How was your day?
Me: (watching a movie about a shark trapped in a grocery store) Very busy.
Just send him 60 texts explaining how you understand he needs his alone time.
People used to have to hunt for food now its like omg two people are in line ahead of me at Starbucks.