@Jenny4ashley I haven’t been around a baby in so long I can’t even remember how to put their leash on.
@Jenny4ashley @Jenny4ashley Sure, I’d take a bullet for you, but how does robbing an ammunition store prove my love?
@Jenny4ashley Try explaining to your kid why you’re taking a bath with a cucumber then come talk to me about your problems.
@Jenny4ashley My boyfriend is so rude. He hasn’t even introduced himself to me yet.
@Jenny4ashley I almost drowned trying to swim today. The security guard didn’t even care he just told me to get the hell out of the mall fountain.
@Jenny4ashley Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about how when you fall in love, it’s best to just kill yourself.
@Jenny4ashley Of course you can be anything you wanna be. That’s how delusions work.
@Jenny4ashley If you had to choose between voting for Trump or getting into the water with sharks, would you dive in or do a cannon ball?
@Jenny4ashley How to lose weight:
1. Name your kid Weight
2. Take it to the mall
@Jenny4ashley My boyfriend is so needy. Always demanding things like “please untie me” and “just tell me who you are”.