
stages of eating a banana:
– oh hey a banana
– it’s so sweet
– so easy to chew
– I like bananas
– oh god I’m only halfway done
– how big is this banana
– I’m so bored
– will this ever end
– one bite left
– I’m throwing it away now
stages of eating a banana:
– oh hey a banana
– it’s so sweet
– so easy to chew
– I like bananas
– oh god I’m only halfway done
– how big is this banana
– I’m so bored
– will this ever end
– one bite left
– I’m throwing it away now
One time I was out with a guy and he needed new jeans so he opened up maps and just typed in “pants”
People in horror movies be like “this weapon just saved my life, I’m gonna toss it aside now”
This is not me but this is me
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
Buddy I’ve got anxiety, I’ll make you a list
Me: I made a perfect napping spot just for you
My cat: no thank you, I would rather be uncomfortable than do anything you suggest
Instagram: look how pretty everything is
Facebook: look how easy everything is
Twitter: look how painfully funny everything can be if you just actually look at it and be honest
Tiktok: look at how dancing everything is
I was just thinking “oh shoot I forgot something” and it came out as “oh fruit”
Mustaches are just nose hairs that believed in themselves