@LMemeit

I was complaining to my mom that my kids are acting out on my bday and she reminded me that when I was a teenager I ran over her foot on her bday and honestly why is she making this about her?

@LMemeit

9: (watching YouTuber play old school Mario)

Me: That’s the game I used to play when I was a kid.

9: You were alive back then?

@LMemeit

I tried to get fired from my job but my boss told me it’s not happening and to make her some Dino nuggets and bring her bunny to the table.

@LMemeit

Whenever I take my kids to the zoo I think this is exactly where they belong.

@LMemeit

Me: No more talking. Good night.

10: Did you know you could throw a rock into a big body of water and be the last person to touch that rock until the end of time?

@LMemeit

Kids: We’re bored!

Me: Why don’t you go play Uno and then fight when someone loses?

@LMemeit

Being a mom in your 40s is putting a timer in your phone to remind yourself to be the tooth fairy.

@LMemeit

We used to look at my mom like she was crazy when she’d scream at us but now I know this is the only way children can hear you.

@LMemeit

Kids are fun. For example my daughter overflowed the toilet once and now she has a toilet flushing phobia.