@LizHackett I love writing because it combines my two favorite hobbies: sitting and self-doubt.
@LizHackett @LizHackett My husband walked into the kitchen and asked, “What’s burning?” I told him, “The world. But what you smell is the chicken.”
@LizHackett I seem pretty put together for a grown woman who imagines she’s traveling through a wormhole each time she pulls a turtleneck over her head.
@LizHackett I attempted smoky eye makeup for a holiday party tonight, but instead it looks like I survived a bar fight, so I’m going with that story.
@LizHackett You’re a busy woman. Let the smoke alarm tell you when the chicken’s done.
@LizHackett I miss the days before the internet, when you didn’t know some person’s every awful thought until they died and you cleaned out their attic.
@LizHackett THEM: You can’t go wrong with this recipe.
ME: Watch me.
@LizHackett “What if I took the dumbest person I know, got them severely drunk, and challenged them to finish my sentences?” — inventor of Autocorrect
@LizHackett THEM: I have a story about that person. Someday when I’m drunk enough, I’ll tell you.
ME: [pulls bottle of wine from purse] Let’s do this.
@LizHackett I want to be rich enough to leave the house-sitter notes like: “If the cheetah looks bored, jog him on the treadmill. He can watch Friends.”