I’m not the person to call if you need someone to stop you splurging on 10 new books. I’m the one that will hand you the 11th
I don’t do weights but my 4yo refuses to walk sometimes so yeah I lift
My daughter asked if we can just pretend she’s being well behaved and tbh I think it might be easier for both of us
My washing machine shakes so much it moves across the floor and I’m pretty sure it’s trying to escape because I work it too hard
I got my ID out today to buy wine and the woman in the shop said “it’s ok I don’t need to see it”. It’s fine…I’m fine
I’m a really friendly person unless you try and make small talk with me
I always thought by this stage of adulthood I’d have my shit together but I just asked google how long you can survive without vegetables so apparently not
My toddler got me up at 4:30am because “Eeyore said it’s morning” Stupid donkey ruining my life
Not knowing the words to a song sure as hell doesn’t stop me from making random noises in an attempt to sing along anyway
My daughter cuddled into me and said she loves me, which I thought was really cute until I realised she was stealing my muffin
I told my 4yo daughter to believe in herself because she can be anything she wants to be so now she’s busy preparing for her future life as a dinosaur
My grandma just described my grandads driving as erotic and I’m seriously hoping she meant erratic or grandma has some kinks I don’t wanna know about
My 4yo is asserting dominance by calling me by my full name. I don’t like where this is going
If my metabolism and serotonin were employees they would have been so fired by now