What am I supposed to do with all this laundry? And before you answer, I already tried staring out the window and crying for 9 hours.
Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.
*Mary Poppins voice*
Ok, children! Time to go!
[15 min later]
I said let’s go.
Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax.
Me: let’s go vegetarian
Husband: can we still eat eggs
M: of course
H: bacon on special occas-
M: we’d be crazy not to
Therapist: U need some tools to cope with ur anger
Me: Like a sledgehammer?
T: No. More like breathing-
M: Fire? Can u make me breathe fire?
Me: Omg all the kids are asleep! I can finally sit and relax!
Dog: Yeah. About that. *pukes all over living room*
Holy crap, I need an ambulance!
*checks insurance deductible*
Nevermind, I’ll just take a vitamin or something.
3: *throws plate in sink
Me: but you barely ate!
3: yeah, I’m full…what are you eating?
Me: the same thing you had
3: can I have a bite?
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.