@MaidOfBeans

The next time I lose my car I’m just going to let it find its own way home.

@MaidOfBeans

At this point the only way a handsome man’s ever going to chase me through an airport is if I steal his bag off the carousel.

@MaidOfBeans

I accidentally typed ‘thee’ and now I’m listening to lute music and my neighbour Jeff just succumbed to the Plague.