@MaidOfBeans It looks like the world forgot to take its meds again.
@MaidOfBeans 
@MaidOfBeans The next time I lose my car I’m just going to let it find its own way home.
@MaidOfBeans At this point the only way a handsome man’s ever going to chase me through an airport is if I steal his bag off the carousel.
@MaidOfBeans I accidentally typed ‘thee’ and now I’m listening to lute music and my neighbour Jeff just succumbed to the Plague.
@MaidOfBeans The best revenge is living well unless you have a crossbow.