Well, some people call me the space cowboy, some people call me the gangster of love, some people call me Maur…
“Sir, have you ever been tazzed at the DMV before.”
Like dad use to say, if it ain’t broke, obviously my kid hasn’t touched it yet.
Can you fail a drug test from a mosquito bite?
Asking for the next person this mosquito bites.
If it says “typing” for more then 2 minutes… you’re gonna have a bad time.
There’s 2 types of people in this world, people who give 110%, and the people who passed 4th grade math.
For cardio I live beyond my means.
“I’ll do it after I’m dead”
People that don’t know how death works.
Age is just a number, like 100 hours of Community Service.
There’s 2 types of people in this world, the people that use birth control and the people that step on Legos at 3am.
It’s not a real relationship, until you’ve apologized to a locked bathroom door.