@Marcmywords2

“Name?”

Well, some people call me the space cowboy, some people call me the gangster of love, some people call me Maur…

“Sir, have you ever been tazzed at the DMV before.”

@Marcmywords2

Like dad use to say, if it ain’t broke, obviously my kid hasn’t touched it yet.

Good times!

@Marcmywords2

Can you fail a drug test from a mosquito bite?

Asking for the next person this mosquito bites.

@Marcmywords2

If it says “typing” for more then 2 minutes… you’re gonna have a bad time.

@Marcmywords2

There’s 2 types of people in this world, people who give 110%, and the people who passed 4th grade math.

@Marcmywords2

“I’ll do it after I’m dead”

People that don’t know how death works.

@Marcmywords2

There’s 2 types of people in this world, the people that use birth control and the people that step on Legos at 3am.

@Marcmywords2

It’s not a real relationship, until you’ve apologized to a locked bathroom door.