@Marcmywords2

People in my office act like they’ve never seen someone in formal working pajamas before.

@Marcmywords2

“Where you going, we’re in the middle of a conversation.”

OMG! This is just the middle.

Annnnnd that’s how the fight started.

@Marcmywords2

Sure boss, I’d love to take on some extra work, I have like 7-8 free hours a night where all I do is sleep anyway.

@Marcmywords2

The family you’ve pictured in your mind, is never the one that shows up at the BBQ.

@Marcmywords2

It wouldn’t kill this religion to throw a virgin in a volcano every now & then.

Anyway, thats why they removed the suggestion box from Mass

@Marcmywords2

Ok guys, if anyone asks about what happened to this gallon of ice cream, I was mugged by a family of 8.

@Marcmywords2

I hate when you go to a surprise party, and all anyone wants to do is talk about your drug problem.

@Marcmywords2

Ok 1st off, who exactly is “we” in “we have to go on a diet”, and more importantly, why is there salad on the plate where my food should be.