My coffee tastes like murder is off the table, for now.
I got my followers the old fashioned way – with tranquilizer darts.
When my burger was ready, the clerk called out “867?”
I yelled back 5309.
No one laughed.
I am old.
Canadians: Maybe they’re born with it, maybe it’s maple leaf.
King: Good Knight, how fared thy journey?
Knight: ‘Twas long and hard
King: ‘Tis what she proclaimed.
Both: *fist bump*
Think about it – every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person.
Stay lazy my friends.
I didn’t like you in high school, I don’t like you now. #WhyIDontUseFacebook