@Moronyc

I’m tired of writing “Sent from my iPhone” at the end of all me e-mails, maybe I should just get an iPhone

@Moronyc

A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he’s naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer

@Moronyc

The wife is approaching! *Close Twitter, close favstar, close youporn, close match .com, delete history, open google and stare at screen