@Nickadoo

Princess Peach has been kidnapped so often, I’m beginning to think she might be Liam Neeson’s daughter.

@Nickadoo

The fact that Mitt Romney opted to see Twilight instead of Lincoln this weekend probably sums up what his presidency would’ve been like.

@Nickadoo

Remember, kids: If a 200-year old vampire fucks a teenager, it’s “romantic,” but if a 45-year old Muppet fucks a teenager, it’s “creepy.”

@Nickadoo

I don’t understand interventions.

What’s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?

@Nickadoo

I don’t understand interventions.

What’s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?