@NintenDom

Screw hybrid cars! We should all be driving buses! No clue what their fuel consumption is but I know I’ve never seen a bus at a gas station.

@NintenDom

It’s Facebook’s 10th birthday today. Let’s all click “Maybe” on the event invite and then not show up.

@NintenDom

Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It’s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.

@NintenDom

We can’t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.

@NintenDom

Just so we’re all clear: NASA is getting a direct feed from a robot on Mars, but I still can’t make a cell phone call from my basement.

@NintenDom

I’m a lot like a wild Pokémon in the bedroom. I only know four moves and I come out of nowhere.

@NintenDom

I bet the first guy to pee on someone’s jellyfish sting was NOT trying to help them.

@NintenDom

I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it’s never fully connected with me. And also because I caught my neighbour using it.

@NintenDom

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He’s never gonna give you Up.

@NintenDom

Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song has a part where it sounds like they’re trying to guess words for a crossword puzzle.