@PFitzpa

My husband & I have a secret signal we use when it’s time to leave a party. I pull an air horn out of my purse and blast it.

@PFitzpa

I’ve got to go guys. Yesterday I bought a new shampoo that’s supposed to change my life.

@PFitzpa

Please do not return empty candy wrappers to the dish. It leads to false expectations and uncontrollable rage.