@ParaJanitor

The best part of an argument is the make up sex…unless you’re fighting with your brother.

@ParaJanitor

Police found the neighbourhood paedophile shot in the head 27 times. Authorities ruled it the worst case of suicide in a decade.

@ParaJanitor

Forever Alone Barbie: Comes with 20 cats, and a Twitter account. Alcoholism and debilitating depression not included.

@ParaJanitor

My autocorrect changes cunts to China. Hey don’t blame me. I’m not the racist code programmer.

@ParaJanitor

I got fired from my office job for misunderstanding the meaning of 3 hole punch.