@PeaceInTruth1

Coworker: Stop

Me: collaborate and listen

Coworker: Don’t

Me: you forget about me

Coworker: Hey!

Me: teacher, leave them kids alone

@PeaceInTruth1

For my next trick I will bust 8 kneecaps with a single kick.

*steps on a spider*

@PeaceInTruth1

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t necessarily mean that I like you. I might be picturing you on fire.

@PeaceInTruth1

Dogs have a tendency to bark just to hear themselves bark. Reminds me of some people I know.

@PeaceInTruth1

I’m at my quickest when I try to follow someone out of the bathroom so I don’t have to touch the handle.