Christmas tree still up?
that’s a cat tree now.
Problem solved.
I love when kids say moo cow cause what other kinds of cows are there besides mooing ones?
ruin Thanksgiving for everyone with a detailed description of how you prepared the turkey
thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess
I don’t have an alarm clock, I have cats
may I borrow your hand mixer? I found a pumpkin carving hack that will destroy mine.
this is my fancy nightgown it only has one stain
strapless bras are cool cause by the end of the night you have a new belt
candy corn tastes like it has already been chewed
my house is definitely haunted. all the snacks disappear.
I don’t always pick my nose in front of the window but when I do a neighbor will inevitably drive by
beginning to think I may never inherit a chocolate factory
living in a van down by the river isn’t an insult anymore. It’s a YouTube sensation.
Modeled nude for an art class today at my local college. They didn’t ask, I just felt like it.
I need a house elf. No weirdos tho.
I’m not like other girls. I am Mothman.
what the hell is this stain?
– a memoir
No, I don’t wish to see “offensive replies”
what is this, a family reunion?!
It’s wet right there and I don’t know why
– a one sentence horror story