@PlainTravis

My birthday’s 9 months after my dad’s. So I have to live with that knowledge.

@PlainTravis

I can forgive the fact that Peter Peter was a pumpkin eater, but I can’t abide by the fact that his first and last name are the same.

@PlainTravis

Daenerys Targaryen is basically one of those people that thinks they’re a parent because they have a dog.

@PlainTravis

I’m quitting my job to pursue my dream of quitting my job.

@PlainTravis

I don’t respect Aquaman, because I can’t respect a hero whose arch nemesis is that plastic drink holder that you find on a six pack of cans.

@PlainTravis

I want to be a pilot, but mostly so I’d have an excuse to tell passengers, “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”