@PleaseBeGneiss

choosing between self-checkout and cashier is such a battle for me. there’s either a 100% chance i have to interact with a human or a 20% chance i have to interact with a human to explain why i am too dumb

@PleaseBeGneiss

it’s bullshit that someone made a bowl out of wet dirt 30,000 years ago and now i have to load a dishwasher

@PleaseBeGneiss

First person to eat a banana: this is not good

First person to peel a banana: dude guess what

@PleaseBeGneiss

“have you seen the gas prices?” no man i drive with my eyes closed because it’s scary

@PleaseBeGneiss

i will email myself something and then immediately stress once i hear the email notification bc i already forgot :/

@PleaseBeGneiss

please someone make a recipe page that’s literally just ingredients and instructions. if i have to scroll through one more essay about someone’s culinary awakening i am going to lose my mind

@PleaseBeGneiss

people who brush their teeth in the shower are operating on a level of efficiency i have no desire of achieving