Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife “promised” she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I’m livid.
*Salesman smashes through window into living room* Evening, folks. Are you in the market for a new window?
Check for bed bugs by yelling “Gee, I’m so happy there are no bed bugs here!”, and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.