@ShirtPantsJones

Oh you can bench 50 kilograms? I literally don’t know if that’s 100 pounds or a billion.

@ShirtPantsJones

Mark Wahlberg will star in 6 films over the next 14 months meanwhile Donnie Wahlberg just placed 7th in a Donnie Wahlberg look alike contest

@ShirtPantsJones

Meeting a blind date at Starbucks. She said shell be wearing Uggs, a NorthFace Jacket, and yoga pants. I got her narrowed down to 47 girls.

@ShirtPantsJones

My sister thinks I should come see her new baby, but where was she when I got my new goldfish? Nice try sis.