One of the perks of being a woman is that no one can ever surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you’re the mom.
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
I never realized how short a month is until I started paying rent
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
I wonder if a murderer has ever crossed my path, contemplated murdering me, and then thought “nah”.