According to HR, we’re not allowed to staple our colleagues’ tie to the wall when he’s being annoying

That is some bullshit


My tombstone will probably read

“Of all the dumb things she did, this is the one that got her!?”


Me: Yo! It’s so quiet, what’s everyone doing?

Boss: uh, working

Me: again?

Boss: …


I painted today

Everyone complimented me on my turtle

It was a bird, I painted a bird


And then grandma said “my, what big hands you have”