@Smooheed

According to HR, we’re not allowed to staple our colleagues’ tie to the wall when he’s being annoying

That is some bullshit

@Smooheed

My tombstone will probably read

“Of all the dumb things she did, this is the one that got her!?”

@Smooheed

Me: Yo! It’s so quiet, what’s everyone doing?

Boss: uh, working

Me: again?

Boss: …

@Smooheed

I painted today

Everyone complimented me on my turtle

It was a bird, I painted a bird

@Smooheed

And then grandma said “my, what big hands you have”