@StruggleDisplay

Sample lady: Would you like to try a chocolate chip cookie?
Me: You have to tell me if you’re a cop.

@StruggleDisplay

Teens: Euphoria from a first kiss

Twenties: Euphoria from skydiving

Forties: Euphoria from a price adjustment at Target

@StruggleDisplay

My son just handed me a note with 9 numbers on it and asked me to call his friend. I told him a phone number is 10 digits so this will not work.
Him: Ok, just add a 4 somewhere.

@StruggleDisplay

Being married for years I thought I knew intimacy…that was until today when my eye dr. decided to sing “dust in the wind” right into my eyeballs

@StruggleDisplay

You mistake a basketball for a dodgeball ONE TIME and now your kids won’t play with you

@StruggleDisplay

Him: Did you wash your hands?
Child (10): No, he didn’t.
Child (8): YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE!

@StruggleDisplay

One time I found $100 bill in the IKEA parking lot…I then went inside and spent $447. Well played, IKEA.

@StruggleDisplay

First pedicure of the season…my nail technician took one look and started stretching

@StruggleDisplay

Twister but it’s just me trying to get out of bed after our son, daughter, dog, cat, 2 blankets, 5 stuffed animals and a light saber found their way into it

@StruggleDisplay

I wish I had the confidence of my 10 yr old who told me I was “driving all wrong” seconds after she asked for help getting gum out of her hair