Me: I love you!
Girlfriend: Is that you, or the vodka talking?
Me: It’s me…talking to the vodka.
Two Jehovah Witnesses walk into a bar. LOL JK. They knocked.
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is that intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing, it just waved.
Sea what I did there?
I’m shore you did.
Laugh, you son of a beach!
I just swallowed my record player’s needle and nothing’s happened to me, nothing’s happened to me, nothing’s happened to me, nothing’s happe
Neighbor thinks I’m stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified!
Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars.
I wonder how many other Sandy’s have come into men’s lives and taken their cars and houses, too.
My son asked me where babies come from. He so silly, babies are too young to come.
How do you say “I’m sorry I got you pregnant, but my plane leaves in an hour. I might visit the baby one day.” in Korean?
Na Fa Fo Na Na Fo Fo -Sassy black girl giving me her digits.