Brain: he must study-how?
*Hormones raise hand*
H: we could hit him with pimples, kill the social life?
It’s for his own good.
*Tries to hit the gym*
*Gym hits back*
Why learn a second language, when you don’t have anything interesting to say in your first one?
There are certain people who assume that I’m intelligent.
These people aren’t aware that I cannot tear off perforated paper.
You wanna hot body?
You wanna Bugatti?
You wanna Maseratti?
Then this is an intervention you NEED to stop listening to Britney Spears.
How often do I think about Keira? Knightley.
How much credibility is there in that whole “you can punch yourself handsome” theory?
Asking for a friend.
“I’m sorry, but Who’re isn’t actually an accepted word, you meant to sa-”
” I meant to say who’re, because you’re a who’re.”
I would be a bad fish.
Fishermen would be like, “omg i’m so ugly” and I’d take the bait and disagree, instead of swimming away.
Whoever you are, you can’t deny that
Harry Potter & the Fallopian Tubes
sounds like a legitimate title.
Don’t act like you wouldn’t read it.