@Thateverydayguy

Why is there a show called “When Animals Attack”? It should be called “When Stupid People Go Near Dangerous Animals.”

@Thateverydayguy

The 4 stage of life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus
3. You are Santa Clause
4. You look like Santa Claus

@Thateverydayguy

One day, the fridge will take revenge on me, every half hour opening the door to my room, staring at me for a few minutes & then walk away.