@Triballistix

Why would a straight guy hate gay guys?

Here’s a group of men who look better than you.. but don’t even want women.

You should be glad.

@Triballistix

If you factor in “supply and demand”… she DOES NOT want the D.
There is so much D trying to go around, not even the alphabet wants the D.

@Triballistix

6 more days, guys.. That’s December 26. The day everybody puts their shitty Xmas gifts on Ebay so poor people, like me, can buy them!

@Triballistix

*notice roommate’s tampon wrappers in bathroom garbage*
*hides all my chocolate*

@Triballistix

This is your brain-
*holds out egg*

This is your brain on drugs-
*puts egg on ground, spins it while shining lazers on it*

@Triballistix

I hate ramen noodles.

*Checks bank account balance*

I love ramen noodles!

@Triballistix

Boss: “Are you texting?”
Me: “No, I’m Tweeting.”
Boss: “What’s the difference?”
Me: “Texting would imply that I have friends.”