@TrophyCatas

Hope floats but corpses don’t, so remember: bricks or 25 to life.

Inspirational tweet.

@TrophyCatas

Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.

@TrophyCatas

To be fair, if I had a friend who could turn water into wine – I’d worship him too.

@TrophyCatas

Sleeping Beauty has a pretty good situation going on until Prince Charming came and screwed it up.

@TrophyCatas

I will punch you in the face.

OK not really – but I will roll my eyes at you, hard.

@TrophyCatas

I automatically write off anything Donald Trump says because someone with that much money has no excuse for that hair.

@TrophyCatas

They used to wear them halfway down their asses, and now they wear the one’s meant for girls…

Will boys ever get pants right!?

@TrophyCatas

When I’m feeling inadequate, I remember that there are women who marry their prison pen pals, and then my own decisions don’t seem so bad.