@UncleDuke1969 “Dave, come check this out! The squirrel in that tree hasn’t moved in like three hours. It’s freakin’ weird.”
@UncleDuke1969 @UncleDuke1969 it was love at first sight
@UncleDuke1969 Mad Max: Furry Road
@UncleDuke1969 “If the landlord asks, you’re a Chihuahua.”
@UncleDuke1969 STYLIST: “What are you thinking?”
HIM: “This might sound weird…”
STYLIST: “Try me.”
HIM: “What if Abraham Lincoln and John Lennon gave birth to a fidget spinner?”
STYLIST: “I got this.”
@UncleDuke1969 when you wake up in the morning after you went there last night planning to break up
@UncleDuke1969 don’t be scared
@UncleDuke1969 “How do you do, fellow birds?”
@UncleDuke1969 when someone is trying to explain crypto to me for the third time and i’m trying to imagine their death in the most super-creative way possible
@UncleDuke1969 [murder scene]
DETECTIVE: Let’s run through the suspects.
PARTNER: Okay.
DETECTIVE: Who’s the most likely?
PARTNER: The husband, for sure.
DETECTIVE: Who else?
PARTNER: Her business partner.
DETECTIVE: And, the least likely?
PARTNER: *shrugs* Tom Hanks, I guess.