it must be school picture day
“You tell Marcy that she can ask someone else to bring snacks to book club next time if it’s going to take three weeks for me to get my dish back.”
his wife is probably gonna see that
how i like to believe my wife sees me when i get a jar open or kill a spider
Whether it’s aliens or zombies, the importance of a head start cannot be overstated.
“I can be nice or I can be honest.”
OKAY DAD
i think both sides are to blame here
“I think it might be time to cut back on the energy drinks, Elliott.”
don’t you dare tell me journalism is dead
“Give me your hand!”
“But-“
“You’re gonna have to trust me!”
i like to flex on them by shrugging
peeping toms
“What are you doing, Merlin?”
“He said he was cold.”
all toddlers look the same when telling a story