@WetzelGeek

I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a “Pregnant Only” parking spot in front of the Liquor store.

@WetzelGeek

What if Cookie Monster was censored and this whole time he has been talking about boobies instead of cookies?

@WetzelGeek

“Some people say I’m an animal in the sack.” – baby kangaroo

@WetzelGeek

My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I’ll be on a short leash though so I won’t run off into the woods like last time.

@WetzelGeek

Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.

@WetzelGeek

Woke up this morning with a pillow over my face, hearing someone muttering “…it would be so easy…”