I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a “Pregnant Only” parking spot in front of the Liquor store.
What if Cookie Monster was censored and this whole time he has been talking about boobies instead of cookies?
“Some people say I’m an animal in the sack.” – baby kangaroo
My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I’ll be on a short leash though so I won’t run off into the woods like last time.
Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.
Woke up this morning with a pillow over my face, hearing someone muttering “…it would be so easy…”