Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.
Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.
I’m forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
I’m forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
I’m forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
I’ll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that’s me.
I’ll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that’s me.
Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that’s Fahrenheit or centigrade.
I knew joining a gym was a bad idea when I got there and needed help pulling the door open.