@YoungNobler Places to learn how to chug your drink:
1. College frat
2. Airport security line
@YoungNobler @YoungNobler Mike Pence has a strong resume, including Governor of Indiana and Shawshank Prison Guard. #VPDebate
@YoungNobler I’m still disappointed that Penguin and Random House merged to become Penguin Random House and not the more hilarious Random Penguin House.
@YoungNobler Before you cannibalize your roommate due to cabin fever, remember that you cannot afford the rent alone. #blizzard2016
@YoungNobler It’s the 20th anniversary of Infinite Jest and the 6th anniversary of my buying Infinite Jest and never getting around to reading it.
@YoungNobler Honestly, I think Bernie Sanders is just angry about email in general. #DemDebate
@YoungNobler Underwear isn’t protecting you from your pants. It’s protecting your pants from YOU! Another conspiracy uncovered.
@YoungNobler They should make custom Starbucks cards that say, “I wouldn’t normally be buying your coffee, but I got this gift card.”
@YoungNobler Just checked weather. If anyone is curious what’s in my wardrobe, find me tomorrow. I will be wearing every article of clothing I own.
@YoungNobler #wecanlandonacometbutwecant let a comet land on us. – Yakov Smirnoff