
i can’t stop writing holiday rom com synopses so i guess i’ll just continue doing it until my hands fall off
i can’t stop writing holiday rom com synopses so i guess i’ll just continue doing it until my hands fall off
I am dressed in all grey and a man also dressed in all grey just stared at me and for a second I got very nervous that he thought I was him
friend: let’s meet up soon
me: *in the crow’s nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though
When someone tries to argue with me I’m like “hey pal let me stop you right there” and then physically turn them around to face someone else
Why are you being weird about how we made eye contact and both smiled and then I took the form of an actual bat and chased you for 11 miles
Sometimes I accidentally make eye contact with someone and it’s like “well I better just go with it” and I begin sprinting at them
Oh no I got so excited that you texted me that I accidentally replied 11 thousand times and then swung into your house on a rope
[speaking very loudly to no one trying to impress someone nearby]
Man what am I going to do with all these hens
I looked at a shelf once online and now every ad is like “SO YOU LIKE SHELVES??????” and everywhere i go i think a shelf is following me
friend: wish you were here!
me, abruptly stopping whatever I’m doing and captaining a speedboat approaching your house: oh really