I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.
Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.
Them: If you say more one thing you’re going to die.
Me: And another thing…
Kinda rude my neighbours live next to me.
Me, being boiled into a soup: This is nice.
I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.
I’m still upset that my parents didn’t support my dream of becoming an assassin.
The best way to express your disagreement is by slapping people with a fish.
Every day can be sparkly if you stick a fork into a socket.
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is to be launched into space.
Me, taking my clothes off at a crematorium: So, where’s the sauna?
Vampire: I can bite you…
Me: Sweet!
Vampire: … and give you eternal life!
Me: Stop threatening me!
Almost fell down the stairs. Will try again tomorrow.
You can always win an argument if you set them on fire.
What an awful time to have common sense.