*pulls all the hair out of my brush and places it all over my dog*
If you ever want your kids to communicate with you, just make sure you’re talking to someone else on the phone.
*gets lockjaw when putting on eyeliner*
So he says ” Nice glasses” and I say ” Thanks! They’re for seeing ”
You’re not allowed to say “long story short” after talking for 30 minutes.
People who say “I hate to bother you” need to learn to hate it a little bit more.