@captaincoximus

If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily

@captaincoximus

Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep

@captaincoximus

When asked my theory on Amelia Earhart’s disappearance I said “maybe she went black” and now I don’t have to help with homework