@cellapaz

DAMMIT!

-me, trying to put my hand in a fake pocket for the 80th time today

@cellapaz

how do we expect our kids to learn from our mistakes when we’re still out there buying too many bananas just like our parents did

@cellapaz

non-fungible…that’s when you’re allergic to mushrooms right?

@cellapaz

doctor: any allergies?

me, remembering the time a loaf of frozen bread fell on my head: gluten.

@cellapaz

i like to buy frozen diced onions…gives me extra time to cry about other things while i cook

@cellapaz

my kindergarten teacher taught me to always put glitter in cards when i mail them. in case you’re wondering why i’m so diabolical