I think my life exists only so an angel can show the successful me from an alternate universe of how much worse it could have been!
#alternative
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
Why did the new psychology student eat their textbook?
Because the professor said it was a piece of cake!
馃槀
I’d have an extra 16 hours of free time every single day if I lost my phone!
Got my blood test results back today, and it’s just as I had feared 馃檨
My body is filled with a lot of blood!