@colleen_eileen

I’ve reached the age where good or bad news from friends produce the same reaction: I should make them a casserole. I have officially become my grandmother.

@colleen_eileen

My new boss just described me as “dramatic but not problematic” and I’ve never felt more understood in my life

@colleen_eileen

I cannot remain silent any longer. It hurts my feelings when Wordle hits me with the “phew” when I get it on the last try.

@colleen_eileen

Me ignoring red flags and clinging to toxic relationships because I’m a silly goose

@colleen_eileen

according to my research, maximum work from home productivity can be reached when you wear a towel all day and lie about your camera not working

@colleen_eileen

My ex got me one of those mermaid tail blankets and when I told my mom she said I don’t need to hear about your perverse sexual proclivities and I think of this often

@colleen_eileen

Quite frankly amazed I’ve never been kidnapped. I just asked the produce manager if they had more cantaloupe and he said follow me and I said okie dokie and ended up in some back room lmao