I miss the days of Agatha Christie when rich people only murdered each other.
All of my other appliances think the air fryer is an overachiever. Even the food processor and the blender are bonding over this, and they’ve been enemies for years.
Landlordle – where the goal is to get your plumbing fixed, but you only get six chances to summon a super.
P L E E Z
T O D A Y
N E E D U
S U I N G ✅
I honestly think we are asking too much of cauliflower.
Fitness bloggers are like, “Just fill your cabinets with healthy food.” You mean my spice museums?!
When someone begins, “With all due respect,” stop them right there, because that is as good as the sentence gets for you.
If Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie why do I spend the holidays hiding in the vents of my workplace?
People who finish their entire stick of lip balm without losing it first should be the only ones allowed to have kids.
The cheapest workout for your core is standing on the train without holding onto anything.
White people don’t dance at concerts so they can save all their energy for the “Woo!” at the end of a song.